Procrastination and Money Part I: Resentment

Procrastination and Money: Five Triggers that prevent you from getting Sh*t done

PART I: RESENTMENT

Maria wanted to get her act together— at least that was the number one goal listed on the questionnaire she filled out at the beginning of our working relationship.

“What would that look like?” I asked.

She sighed, shrugged and said, “I would know where I am, financially, and wouldn’t have all my brokerage statements in a paper bag, unopened. I’d have a will and could tell you without looking, how much money I make each year. The list goes on. I’m buried in debts I could have paid off years ago, and I’m scared my children will inherit my habits.”

Maria procrastinates.

Procrastination leads to feeling inadequate which spirals into shame and paralysis.

What a cheery picture! The truth is we all have bouts of procrastination.

It helps to understand what triggers procrastination, because then you have the power to address the true issue at hand.

There are five triggers to procrastination:

• resentment
• confusion
• fear
• lack of skill
• time management

In the next few weeks, I will blog about these five triggers.

Today we’ll explore resentment

Resentment or bitterness about financial failures or misfortunes can result in ignoring bills, avoiding your mail, getting lost in wishful thinking, or taking frequent trips to the chapel of despair to pray for the IRS to have an epiphany about how wrong they were to charge you for all those years you didn’t file your taxes. It can get ugly.

How do you work with this? You need to grieve.

You might need to get pissed off and then grieve. This is an opportunity to work through unresolved feelings. Journaling is helpful. Having a dialog with your resentment or with the cause of your resentment also helps. For example, if I was still paying off a medical bill that I believe my insurance company should have paid I could write out a dialogue with that bill:

Me: I hate paying you every month… I shouldn’t have to pay this and I can’t really afford it. I wish you would just go away, forever and never come back.

Medical Bill: I understand. I wish I could go away, too. The system isn’t always fair. How can I help?

Me: Is there anyway I can get you reduced? It’s so overwhelming and I feel so vulnerable because all my money goes to this bill and I can’t save anything.

Medical Bill: I’m not sure but its certainly worth asking.

(This is just the beginning of the conversation— keep it going and you’ll learn so much about yourself!)

The truth is that if resentment or bitterness is eating away at you then these feelings are the ones running the show. The key to feeling empowered with your money is to address the lurking feelings of resentment or bitterness until you reach a point of acceptance. This is a sign of maturity.

Shit happens and it’s not always our choice or fun or sexy, yet to move on we have to face it, pay for it so that it can be behind us.

Think of a time when resentment or bitterness kept you financially paralyzed. Did you recognize those emotions at the time? Are you still experiencing emotional grief that is keeping you stuck?

If so, journal for 10 minutes flow of consciousness about it, or use the dialogue tool I introduced. Give it a shot!